Week 9 Story: The Desperate Goblin
Out in the desolate plains of Mutsu, Japan lives a dangerous
goblin. This goblin preys on humans who get lost in the plains and seek shelter
in its small, decrepit cottage. In order to lure these humans to it, it
disguises itself as an elderly woman and makes itself seem welcoming, inviting
the humans to spend the night under its roof. What these humans do not see is
my secret room in the back of my cottage. It is here that I take these humans
once I gain their trust and can finally devour them. This creature is me. I am
the goblin of Adachigahara.
It has been weeks since a human has come through these parts
of the plains and I am growing weak and desperate. Word must be going around
town of hunters and gatherers not returning home from the plains. I fear that
this is the last night that I will be able to survive without finding another
human to feed on. In my weakened state, I am beginning to take on the mannerisms
of the old woman that I am using as my disguise. I can no longer stand without
exerting extreme force. Every step that I take feels as though I am dragging
two cinder blocks on my feet. My hands and arms shake uncontrollably when I
reach out. At this point, I know that I will not make it through the night
unless a human is lost in the plains and seeks shelter in my cottage. As a last-ditch
effort, I light a fire in my fireplace and illuminate the lantern outside. Once
I finish these tasks I return to living room where I sit down and begin
spinning.
Just as I think all hope for my survival is lost and I am
walking to my bed, I hear footsteps outside and suddenly there is a knock on
the door.
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| The Goblin of Adachigahara: flickr |
Author’s Note:
This story is adapted from original tale of The Goblin ofAdachigahara. The original story follows a man who is traveling through the
plains and cannot continue walking through the night as he is too tired. It is
then that he sees the cottage and asks for shelter for the night. The first
part of this story ends with the goblin showing the man hospitality and cooking
him dinner. I wanted to tell this story a little differently which is why I
wrote it in the goblin’s point of view and made a little bit of a backstory to
what was happening before the man found shelter in its cottage.
Hi Maria!
ReplyDeleteI like your story! Good job on taking the premise of the original story and making it your own. I like it being told from the point of view of the goblin. I think it is almost karma like that the goblin would take on the mannerisms of the old lady that it was pretending to be.
Good job on the story!
Hello again Maria!
ReplyDeleteI love the itching, creepy factor you brought to life in this story. It was really well done. I think it would have been easier to read into if you separated your first paragraph transition between when you describe the story set up and then instantly go into being the goblin. Maybe even adding quotations around that spot to really indicate a separation would also be beneficial! I would also love to see more on if the goblin is even capable of tricking the human to consume them if he is in such a weakened state. Would this dwindle his abilities at all? Thanks for the read!
Hey Maria! I was getting a little confused at the beginning when it initially switched from first to third-person, but it all made sense really soon after. When they began to feel the effects of being an old woman, could they have reversed these by transforming into someone with a younger age? Or were they forced to be an older woman instead? Maybe they could have held out a little longer if that was possible. Overall, I really enjoyed the story and the intrigue it gave me. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi Maria! Your story definitely keeps the readers on edge! I love how you put the story from the perspective of the goblin and then your last line of the story is a great way to end it! For future reference, I think it might be best if you keep your story to either first or third person instead of mixing the two, but other than that, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Maria! I agree with Melanie that your story definitely has the readers sitting on the edge of their seats! I have not read the original version of this story, but after reading your authors note and reading your version, I think I have a pretty good idea as to what the original version is about. I would say that for future reference, try not to mix the point of views that you write from. Other than that, I think you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed reading this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Maria! I think your story of “Week 9 Story: The Desperate Goblin” is really creative and amazing! I like how the story eloquently describes the ugly goblin in Japan. I also like the fact that the story tells about goblin’s cunning tactic and fooling people. I honestly like your story so much! I like the first person perspective of goblin and I could see what it’s like to live as a goblin from his perspective. Thank you for a great story!
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